Story of every motivator – Transformation from motivating others to motivating self.

*No hefty words, just a true life cycle of many people*

You are the inspiring soul even though you yourself are not inspired. You manipulate poeple in a good way. People like you because of that. You listen, but speak rare. You blabber, but you don’t speak what distresses you. You talk, but just about other people and other things.
But sometimes it becomes difficult. When all piles up and you just can’t speak it, congestion happens. And then you try to search for someone in your dramatically large social circle, to listen. You find some people and you try. You like it. You try it once again. But to your shock, you realize that the other person is not taking interest. You try a few more times, until you realize that it is not worth it.

It breaks your heart. You feel the fact you have been there for everyone, is the only reason you have such a large bunch of poeple in your circle. Your heart and soul cry day and night. You are now into the shoes of someone who is ideally the definition of a lonely person.

You gather the courage. You decide to not let all of this poke into your normal life. You decide that even if it is one sided, you will continue being who you are. If you are the reason, a few people can smile, let it be. Let people be engrossed to their other life and lean towards you in case they need you. You try to be a valiant person. You try to be the awesome one (in your mind, just for yourself)

But all of that seems difficult as time passes. You try to be calculative about people’s behaviour now. You even include even those 1-2 people, who are true to you, in that list, which is the biggest mistake you are going to commit. But you make that mistake because you were broken and shattered. You are in one piece just in disguise.

You yourself are demotivated. But the only thing that people like about you is, the optimism that you spread. But the source of that was you yourself. The source is hijacked by cynicism and pessimism now. But then comes the play of deception that you start playing with yourself and others. You can’t lose that only one thing that people like about you. You will lose all your identity. You will lose everyone. You decide that you will keep doing the same, the only difference being that you are now aware of the reality. Now you are not deceiving yourself forcibly.

But even this doesn’t work for long. You reach a threshold where you decide that you will now no longer play the part that is your identity, until the other person is doesn’t like you just because of that. You start yourself detaching from others. To your a little happiness, people object. But soon you realise that they really don’t care. It pinches you a lot. But now, you are not valiant in disguise. You are now truly courageous, who has made up his mind. You talk to yourself. You try to inspire yourself now, rather than inspiring others. You understand that the superpower you got, is of no use, until it keeps yourself happy. But here at this part, you mend your mistake of keeping everyone in the same plate. You will differentiate, the good poeple from the bad people. You will always welcome the people who truly like you, but you will never try to retain them so hard. You will go with the flow and keep expectations low.